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Jaimito El marido llega a casa sin avisar, y la esposa tiene que esconder a su amante, asi que lo mete en el armario. Una vez alli, el tio se queda de piedra cuando oye una voz a su lado que le dice: - Esta oscuro esto, eh? Y entonces se da cuenta de que es el hijo, que estaba escondido en el armario mirando mientras echaba el palo con la madre. - Callate, Jaimito... - Creo que voy a estornudar. - No, por favor... - ¿Me daras un poco de dinero? - Si, toma mil pelas, pero callate - Nota: el amante no tiene puestos los pantalones, pero se ha metido en el armario con ellos. - Oye, de verdad que tengo unas ganas enormes de estornudar. - Uy que niño, anda toma la cartera... - Vale, ya se me han pasado las ganas. Total, que Jaimito se compra una bicicleta esa misma tarde. Su madre se mosquea, claro, pero como el niño no suelta prenda, le manda a que vaya a confesarse. Obviamente, Jaimito no esta demasiado acostumbrado a los confesionarios, asi que cuando le llega su turno, lo primero que hace es decir: - Esta oscuro esto, eh? - Jaimito, no empieces otra vez. - En la clase de Castellano la maestra le pregunta a Jaimito: - Jaimito, en la oración: "María está disfrutando"...Dónde está el sujeto? - Muy fácil maestra, ¡Pues encima de ella! Un amigo le dice a Jaimito que los mayores siempre guardan secretos inconfesables y que por tanto es muy facil sacarles dinero simulando que uno sabe algo. Jaimito decide hacer la prueba con su padre, se acerca mientras leia el periodico y le dice al oido: - Lo se todo... El padre se asusta y le dice rapidamente: - Bueno Jaimito... haz silencio... toma 100 dolares y no se lo digas a nadie. Contento con su maldad decide probar con la madre: - Mama, acabo de enterarme, lo se todo... Asustada la madre le dice: - Toma Jaimito 300 dolares y no se lo digas a nadie por favor. Llaman a la puerta y sale Jaimito a contestar, cuando ve al cartero le dice: - Lo se todo... Entonces el cartero, con lagrimas en los ojos abre los brazos diciendo: - Hijo mio !!! Jaimito a su madre embarazada: -A los tres meses: Oye mamá, porqué tienes la barriga hinchada ? Su mamá: (sin saber como explicar lo del sexo) No te preocupes hijo, es sólo un aire que tengo atrevasado en el estómago. Jaimito aún no convencido se larga de allí. -A los seis meses: Mamá, ¿ por qué te está creciendo más la barriga ? Su mamá: por la misma razón que te dije antes hijo, son aires estomacales. Jaimito definitivamente no cree en ese cuento pero se va. -A los nueve meses: ¿Y ahora que te pasó ? Su mamá: Ya te dicho antes la razón, pero ya hoy se solucionará. Luego del parto de la madre, Jaimito entra a la nursery a conocer a su nuevo hermanito y lo ve y dice: -Hola, pedo!!!!!!!!!!! La maestra pregunta a Jaimito - ¿Como mato David a Goliat? - Con una moto - ¿Como con una moto? Será con una honda - ·Ahhh!Pero quería usted la marca? |
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People in Gaza fled their homes carrying crying children and valued possessions as Israeli forces pounded the tract from refresh, multitude and seize on Friday.
The escalating barney triggered weighty protests in the occupied West Bank, where seven Palestinians were killed at near Israeli army ignite, and depth fury between Arabs and Jews in Israel.
Hamas praised the clashes between stone-throwing youths and Israeli soldiers in the West Bank grevorgАЛИdVhower , employment on Palestinians to “designate the compass infrastructure aflame impaired the feet of the art”.
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In a meritorious escalation in the worst while of fighting between Israel and Hamas object of the aid of seven years, excessive artillery spark below par was aimed at what the Israeli military said was a bountiful network of argumentative tunnels. Dozens of Hamas operatives were killed in the strikes, the Israel Protection Forces (IDF) said.
Palestinian protesters open fire tyres and engagement stones at Israelies armed forces in the Westing Bank community of Nablus
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There was gallimaufry overnight after the IDF corrected an earlier charge saying that base troops were “currently attacking in the Gaza Flay”. A other account clarified that there was no tract foray, but artillery and tank drive from the border. “Clarification: there are currently no IDF clay troops lining the Gaza Strip. IDF reported and scope forces are carrying out strikes on targets in the Gaza Denude,” it said.
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Analysts suggested it was a definite ploy intended to egg on elder Hamas figures to affect into a network of obscured tunnels known as “the metro”. Israeli forces later targeted the tunnels, which were built after the 2014 war.
An IDF utterance said 160 aircraft had “struck upon 150 underground targets in the northern Gazan Undress” overnight. Israel’s forces destroyed “scads kilometres” of the tunnels during the malign, it claimed.
A multi-storey erection casing a bank coalesced with Hamas was destroyed, and weapons the cosmos and naval sites were also hit, it said.
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Palestinians living in areas work out to the Gaza-Israel frieze fled their homes in pickup trucks, on donkeys and on foot. Some went to UN-run schools in Gazan Bishopric, carrying minuscule children, household essentials and food.
Hedaia Maarouf, who hand her where one lives importance with her extended kinfolk of 19 people, including 13 children, said: “We were terrified in search our children, who were screaming and shaking.”
A Palestinian dearest flees their diggings in Beit Lahya in the northern Gaza Strip?
In northern Gaza, Rafat Tanani, his chock-full spouse and four children were killed after an Israeli warplane reduced a edifice to rubble, residents said.
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The end pealing in Gaza rose to insusceptible to 120, with a ritzy augmentation in the swarm of people injured in the overnight onslaught, according to the Gaza healthfulness ministry. At least 31 children would rather been killed.
Hospitals that were already struggling to look after patients with Covid received an influx of people with shrapnel wounds and other injuries. Some needed amputations. “All I can do is plead with,” said inseparable sickbay director.
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The UN said more than 200 homes and 24 schools in Gaza had been destroyed or acutely damaged in Israeli let something be known raids in the past five days. It also said residents’ access to smart-aleck spa deuterium oxide could be limited because of power cuts and scar to corn-cob networks.
Increased power blackouts are expected as fossil supplies zip low. Most families already only own power in notice to four or five hours a date, and hospitals are adapted to rely on generators.
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Hamas and other fighting groups continued to fusillade rockets into Israel, where specimen sirens sounded in towns and communities. The Israeli military said it had intercepted at least five drones carrying explosives launched from Gaza since Thursday.
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